Tomorrow

Today my son completed High School. Joy, excitement, relief and pride all mixed into one. Today we celebrate, but what will tomorrow bring?

I know we should take life one day at a time. I'm aware that all too often we skip over today because we cannot wait for tomorrow. I know life is meant to be lived in the present and not lost in some future dream.

Yet, while today we celebrate his graduation, I am still left with the nagging question, "Now what?" For 18 years our goal has been to get to this day, but now it has arrived what's next on the horizon? How does one become the parent of an adult who is still but a child?

I remember back when we brought him home from the hospital; I was feeling anxious wondering how they could entrust someone so small to me. Didn't they know how little experience I had in such affairs? I was overwhelmed by my sense of inadequacy.

Now, having survived 18 years guiding (or being guided) my son, that feeling has returned. Where is the manual? How do we help our son make a successful launch out on his own? Is there some magic formula to this, or do we like all others have to stumble and struggle as we take it "one step at a time?"

At least when he was a baby infant, we were big enough to enforce our will and share our grace. Now, however, it seems as if we are lucky to share a few words with him before he is out the door. While we thought the stakes were great for him at the age of one, now when he needs us most, we are kept at arms length away. Now that he is 18 we are no longer the ones who will be able to catch him when he falls. Yet who will catch him?

Such is the path of love. Just when we want to hold on tightest, we are asked to let go. We are asked to trust that where our love cannot go, that nonetheless that there is a God to watch over him. We are asked to trust not just in today, but God's promise of tomorrow.