Letter to Questioner...

This is from an email I sent to a seeker. Maybe it might speak to you...

A new favorite statement of mine (partly mine and partly adaptation of another’s thoughts) is – the law wants conclusions, and grace desires conversation. It seems to me, you are in the midst of the conversation, exactly where God wants you to be.

I like how you are wrestling with questions. I believe it takes some maturity to ask the question, ‘What does God need?’ Perhaps, however, that’s not the real question you are struggling with (presumptuous on my part for me to say, I know) at this moment. Perhaps the bigger issue behind your question is a sense of ‘calling.’

‘Calling’ is the song that God sings in our hearts. Calling is the sense of harmony with my world. Calling doesn’t mean that all is easy or that we have no anxiety, but calling speaks of an alignment of my voice with the melody God’s choir is singing.

When we are living in the midst of the melody of God’s song; allowing for our own expressions of harmony, a smile forms on our face much like a musician who is caught up in a difficult piece of music. We feel as if our talent, our task, and our temperament are working toward a tangible goal. It may not be any more real than the sound of a note that is soon lost in the midst of many notes, but it is real. It may not come easy but it gives us life, abundant life (Jn 10.10).

I encourage you, if you desire what ‘God needs,’ to reflect upon what has and continues to bring you joy. Think about what comes naturally to you and what others affirm in you. Give yourself the opportunity to remember what makes your steps lighter and your burden easier. Ultimately, God’s desire (because this is the way to the fullness of life for which we were created) is that you live within your gifts, yours alone, and that you use your gifts as you respond to God’s ‘calling’ upon your life.

I don’t know if this helps any, but I encourage you to stay in the conversation and don’t allow yourself to feel as if you have to come to some conclusion…ever!