Tomorrow

Today my son completed High School. Joy, excitement, relief and pride all mixed into one. Today we celebrate, but what will tomorrow bring?

I know we should take life one day at a time. I'm aware that all too often we skip over today because we cannot wait for tomorrow. I know life is meant to be lived in the present and not lost in some future dream.

Yet, while today we celebrate his graduation, I am still left with the nagging question, "Now what?" For 18 years our goal has been to get to this day, but now it has arrived what's next on the horizon? How does one become the parent of an adult who is still but a child?

I remember back when we brought him home from the hospital; I was feeling anxious wondering how they could entrust someone so small to me. Didn't they know how little experience I had in such affairs? I was overwhelmed by my sense of inadequacy.

Now, having survived 18 years guiding (or being guided) my son, that feeling has returned. Where is the manual? How do we help our son make a successful launch out on his own? Is there some magic formula to this, or do we like all others have to stumble and struggle as we take it "one step at a time?"

At least when he was a baby infant, we were big enough to enforce our will and share our grace. Now, however, it seems as if we are lucky to share a few words with him before he is out the door. While we thought the stakes were great for him at the age of one, now when he needs us most, we are kept at arms length away. Now that he is 18 we are no longer the ones who will be able to catch him when he falls. Yet who will catch him?

Such is the path of love. Just when we want to hold on tightest, we are asked to let go. We are asked to trust that where our love cannot go, that nonetheless that there is a God to watch over him. We are asked to trust not just in today, but God's promise of tomorrow.

Reflections on New Orleans & 37,000 Youth

I just returned from New Orleans, our Lutheran National Youth Gathering. 37,000 of us hiking around downtown from hotels to the Convention Center, and from the Convention Center to the Superdome. It meant a lot of walking, a lot of waiting in lines for food or just about anything, and a lot of time just chillin'. And yet...

The theme of the gathering was JESUS, JUSTICE, & JAZZ. We joked the first day that the theme should be patience, persistence, and prayer. The goals were worthy. Let's come to New Orleans and make a difference in a city that the nation forgot. Let's give a hand up and instill within our youth a sense of service. Each night we heard inspirational speakers that repeated one theme over and over again; no matter who we are, we can make a difference. Each day 1/3 of the assembly was sent out into New Orleans to bring about positive change and each night we heard about people who are changing the world. Each day we had an opportunity to educate ourselves about the needs of our world and the resources of our faith, either through workshops or interactive activities, and each night we were able to scream and shout as popular music groups got us excited about being followers of Jesus. It was a grand and great vision.

As so many were in attendance, you can imagine the implementation of this was spotty at times. With 37,000 youth in attendance, justice issues could easily lose out to the "just us" sort of things. It was easier to seek out the jazz of the French Quarter and become a typical tourist rather than turning New Orleans upside down with the "rifts" of the gospel.

Having returned, I still wonder about what I conservatively would guess is the $5-6 million price tag for this event. I wonder whether such a vast sum could better have been used to develop grass roots ministry in the synods as they work with congregations in their communities. Looking back I am disappointed by the limited opportunities for service, and the minimal impact of the educational pieces. Yet looking back, I can say when Mayor Ray Nagel thanked us the last night, and when Bishop Hanson read the letter of appreciation from President Obama, it did make me feel proud to be a part of such an audacious act of hope. When I remember the people driving by and thanking us as we walked up and down the boulevards of the city, I can say that we did make a difference. Not only was it our service, but the sense we got from the folks that they were simply glad that we had not forgotten them. Like in Haiti, perhaps our greatest ministry was one of accompaniment.

It's good to be home now, but may we remember that all the earth is the Lord's and we are merely caretakers of these home we call earth. Peace.

Getting Ready for New Orleans

After 8 days in Haiti it is hard to come back to the US. In Haiti things were chaotic, and yet simple. While the infrastructure was failing, nonetheless the people we were around were real clear about how they wanted their lives structured. We witnessed people who were able to rise above the problems of the moment and see the possibilities of tomorrow.

Since coming back, it seems that all I have encountered are the problems of today while people are unable or unwilling to see the possibilities that await us. Now of course this is too black and white, but I find the craziness of the external climate of Haiti much easier to navigate than the internal climate of people who are simply used to getting everything there way (thanks Burger King!). We in the USA seem to have allowed ourselves to make problems for ourselves because we don't face the same kind of problems others in the world do on a daily basis.

Tomorrow we head to New Orleans for the National Youth Gathering. The theme is Jesus, Justice, and Jazz. How easy it will be for the youth (35,000 in attendance) to make this into one big celebration of youthful vitality, but we can only hope that this will be a chance for them to show just what they are made of. As I participate I am hopeful for opportunities to witness an event that is something more than a 4 day carnival, but the beginning of a campaign that will involve their heart, hands, and the Holy Spirit. Let us trust that God will do something great in our midst and at the same time that New Orleans will be changed by our presence.

Peace,
Pal

In Haiti

I've been in Haiti a few days now. At first all I saw was the poverty. Poverty on a scale I had never witnessed anywhere else in the world. At first I saw a people who could not complete what they had started as everywhere we went, homes were topped with re-bar as people intended to add on. At first all I saw was the failure of a culture, as the iconic statue outside the government palace depicting a slave calling on a conch shell for the freedom of his people, was deprieved of his machete because it was made of brass and brass is worth money. At first I saw failure and I wondered how anyone of us could make a difference.
After a few days here, I now see hope. No, the poverty has not disappeared, but I see people struggling to claim a future even amidst a system that tries to beat them down. Now I see hope, as people are unwilling to stop building, but have plans for something bigger. Now I see hope, as I see the smiles of children that are just like the smiles of my children as they find joy in the moment and imagine what God could make of them. Now I see hope as I see the people who are investing themselves in a new generation that will not give in, but get going. What a difference a few days make.
As an example of this hope allow me to tell the story of Maya. Born out of wedlock. Abandoned by his father at birth. Abandoned by his mother at 4. Taken in by his grandmother who dies within 18 months. Now taken by a aunt who promises an education, but turns him into a slave in Port au Prince. Forced to sleep on a cardboard bed. Awake before dawn to get water, and the last up taking care of chores. No school, just chores, demands, and beatings. This is spare the rod...sorry there was no sparring the rod. Finally after getting the wrong rice and being beaten for it, life on the street is better than her home. For two years he survives. He survives adults who attempt to take advantage of him, other kids who try to rob him, and just the pain of homelessness in a strange place.
To move ahead, allow me to say that he finds help through a man of God. A man of God who takes kids who don't have shoes out of the detention center into his home for boys where all our family. Maya is now a father, a homeowner with a tremendous view, a provider and leader, and a man of profound faith. Maya's life is a reminder that we cannot give up hope. Maya's story is why we need to be in Haiti as we see the amazing things God is doing.

Peace

Waiting

Last night I arrived at Sky Harbor to find out that our plane had a mechanical and there was no way to get to the East Coast, and no way to connect with our group going to Port Au Prince. Frustration to say the least.

How easily I am frustrated when the world doesn't work the way it is suppose to...or at least how I imagine it is suppose to. I like to think of myself as the kind of person who can get things done. I like to think that I am able to bend the universe to my will. And typically, because I am a white male, well educated, fairly affluent, and an American, this is more true than not. Except last night.

But then we are going to a country where people are subject to the whims of the world, nature, politics, and economic issues over which they have no control. We are going to a people who more often than not do not get what they want, in fact they just hope to get by. They have no illusion that they are in control.

Perhaps I have something important to learn from this trip. No it's not just about helping those less fortunate. It's not just about having my heart opened to the terrible conditions that so many in this world live with daily. It's not about even making some noise and getting others to help. Maybe I will learn something about those issues surrounding will and willingness. Maybe I will be able to appreciate the reality that the world does not revolve around me. Maybe I will have my heart opened to a healthy humility that will serve me well as I grow older and become less in control (bodily functions included).

We are trained to be the titans of our universe, but maybe the real titans are the ones who know they are unable to change the world, and yet they get up each day and offer themselves in this slog called life. And in doing so they do ignite a spark, a spirit that is the hope not yet seen.

Peace!

Tomorrow

The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar or so sings Little Orphan Annie. Yet the promise of tomorrow carries no guarantees does it? Despite Annie's optimism, it doesn't mean that the world is getting better every day.

Tonight my son's transmission went south on him. He is depressed to say the least. He lives for the opportunity to drive, and he is looking at a big bill, maybe bigger than he can afford. Yet, he is fortunate that he lives in a family that will offer him support and encouragement. How many are out there who have to make it on their own? How many are living with a fear of tomorrow because today has stolen their hope? How many aren't worried about whether a car will run, but whether they will run out of all hope?

I wish I had an easy answer to the failures of the world. To be honest we cannot manufacture hope or create optimism, because eventually despite our Annie sized hearts we will come face to face with the limits of our abilities.

Yet, this is not an "all hope is lost" diatribe. Ultimately, hope is born out of faith, and faith is the stuff of which we cannot see (Hebrews 11.1). As the Apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 5, our current suffering does not need to lead to despair. Rather than working forward from what is, we are asked to work backwards from what has been promised. Living from this perspective, no matter our current disappointments, we can imagine that there will be a day when the tide will turn.

I don't know what is going to happen to my son's transmission, and I don't know how our current difficulties are going to be resolved, but I do know that many of my current problems are of little consequence when I compare them against the hope that would be our guide. I hope we can look beyond what is, to see what is coming just beyond the horizon.

Peace,

Pal

Hating Haiti?

In just a few days I will be heading off to Haiti, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. I have seen extreme poverty before in the dumps of Tijuanna, Mexico, but I imagine the pervasiveness of poverty in Haiti will be something that will simply smack me in the face.

I think it is time for me to get smacked in the face. It is so comfortable and comforting to imagine that being the church is simply about getting people into worship and having them support a program or two. The image that Jesus, Paul, and the martyrs give us, however, is a church on the move identifying with those who are the least among us. I cannot imagine how we have allowed ourselves to build huge sanctuaries without the same commitment to being a people of sanctuary for those on the margins. I guess I like dealing with people who are like me about petty issues rather than having to roll up my sleeves and plug up my noise as we wade into the midst of the squalor of poverty.

My biggest fear is that I will go, my heart will be touched, and I will be so exposed that I will either blow people away or be so blown away myself that I just shut down. I hope and pray that I will be able to see and to tell, so that others may have their hearts revived by the troubles of God's children in places like Haiti.

Peace,

Pal

Post Independence Day Musings:

As we celebrate our independence, wouldn't it be nice if we found some way to celebrate our interdependence. I mean we would not be a nation today without the support of the French during our war for independence. We would not have survived those early years without certain alliances with other European nations. The poet once said that, "No man is an island." Well, no nation is an island either. In these days of famine, terrorisim, and global ecological crisis, we would do well to realize in the famous words of Ben Franklin; "We all need to hang together or we will certainly hang separately."

How do we along with the other nations of this world deal with a nation like North Korea? How do we along with places like China look seriously at climate change. This is not a time for rugged individualism, but a chance to realize that only through cooperation with those who are different from us, can we make a livable world worthy of all of us.

I for one recognize that there are dangerous people and dangerous nations out there. We need to strengthen the organizations that can begin to address the issues behind such choices as well as provide a suffecient deterrent to those who wish to act "unwisely."

It is at times like this that I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln's response to his war minister toward the end of the American Civil War when urged to destroy the south. Lincoln responded by saying, "Do we not destroy our enemies by making them our friends." In the bitter battle between brothers Lincoln was able to lead this country into reconcilliation. How might we reconcile the various world views that are in conflict today?

I don't hae the answer, obviously, but it is time to begin asking the right questions rather than just pretending we know what is right.

Peace,
Pal