Fatherhood

Yesterday my son left to find his fame and fortune. With High School diploma in hand, and the determination to move on with his life, he returned to his roots in Northern California. As we waved goodbye watching him pull out of the driveway, neither he nor us his parents had any idea about how this will all turn out.

Before he left, the two of us, father and son, took one last road trip together down to Rocky Point, Mexico. As we drove across the desert we listened to his country western CD telling us stories of heartache, loss, and the battle for right. It felt like we should be engaged in deep and weighty conversation, but this was two guys who were feeling more than our words could capture. Every once in awhile we would interrupt the music with inane chatter or gross humor, but only rarely did we let ourselves get to the places where our feelings were raw like an oyster in the half shell.

Nevertheless, two days gives you plenty of time to talk, and so we did begin to tell the stories that had shaped our lives together. We laughed about the silly things, and smiled about the stupid things. We reminded ourselves of the petty fights that seemed so important and now just make us laugh. We celebrating those moments when as father and son we stood together to face the titans of this world. And remembering the lessons passed onto me by my father when I was leaving home, I too tried to impress upon my son some of those timeless truths that would guide him as he begins to take control of the wheel of his ship of state.

Most important of all, while the words were uttered as well, it was simply a time spent together that said, "I love you." I love you enough to spend time with you. I love you enough to let you go and grow apart from me. I love you enough that should you ever need to return the door is open. My heart will never be closed to you.

As I reflect upon my son's choice, it makes me reflect upon what is happening in my church, my denomination, the ELCA. This week it will meet and discuss the issue of ordination of openly gay people. Obviously this is a hot button topic. In our church, however, like many other denominations, people of faith honestly disagree regarding their understanding of Scripture, tradition, and scientific knowledge. What is being proposed is rather than casting out one side or another, that being bonded in the love of Christ we simply agree to disagree at this time. Much in the same way we agree to disagree and yet remain in fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ from other tribes of the Christian body. As one who constantly says I am a Lutheran today because they let me in and didn't ask me to check in my brain once I got in, I have no problem with what is being proposed.

Yet how does this connect to my son's departure? Somehow, I picture our Father in heaven letting us go to find our "fame and fortune" in the world. Not always will we act in the way he would choose for us, but nonetheless he gives us the freedom to test our wings. Somehow, I see a parallel between my son's new adventure and what we in our particular church tribe are experiencing as we enter into this discussion over this taboo issue. And as we pull out of the driveway I have this sense that while we have no idea where it will lead, we nonetheless are willing to do so simply trusting that our heavenly Father will never abandon us or close the door on us. I trust that our love for God and love for others will prove to be a stronger bond than any differences we might have.

Despite every Father's attempt to "lay down the law" it seems that in the end grace prevails. May my son find grace; may my church find grace, may the world find grace, and finally may I, most needy of all, once again find God's grace which has been there all along.

Peace,
Pal